{"title":"Crayons","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"offensive-crayons-pot-pack","title":"\"Pot Pack\" Edition","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFeaturing shades of your questionable life choices and memories you can't quite recall, this pack is perfect for those \"creative\" sessions. With colors like Munchies Mango, Peach and Chong, Bong Water Brown, and Lemon Kush, this pack is a vibrant reminder of all those times you said, \"Just one more hit.\" Ideal for scribbling in those adult coloring books you swore you'd finish, or for passive-aggressively gifting to that friend who's \"totally not a stoner.\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eElevate your mediocrity to new, hazier heights and remember: It's not a phase, it's a lifestyle.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e*Disclaimer: No actual cannabis is included or used in the making of these crayons. But if you're considering buying these, you probably don't need any more.* Always color responsibly.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensive Crayons","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":36170182754458,"sku":"COF106","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2108\/0013\/files\/OC-POT_PACK-packaging-front.jpg?v=1771789918"},{"product_id":"red-white-offensive-crayons-fck-you-edition","title":"\"Red, White, and F*ck You\" Edition","description":"\u003cp\u003eFrustrated with American politics? Us too. Celebrate with our political edition of Offensive Crayons, where we remind you that both parties are the same, and your vote doesn’t matter unless you happen to control a Super PAC or are a lizard person.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e24 Assorted Color(s), or at least 22-23 different, since we used the cheapest labor we could find\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade in a factory with less regulation than the 2nd Amendment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOUR MONEY BACK GUARANTEE (that they’re actually crayons – no promises for anything else)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Offensive Crayons","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":36170236821658,"sku":"COF104","price":10.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2108\/0013\/products\/offensive-crayons-red-white-fuck-you-edition.jpg?v=1771789824"},{"product_id":"offensive-crayons-offensive-ish-edition","title":"\"Offensive-ISH\" Edition","description":"\u003cp\u003eNot ready to commit to regular Offensive Crayons? This pack is for you!\u003cbr\u003eAll the shitty humor of Offensive Crayons, but Karen approved. With colors like “safe space sienna”, “child bride blue”, “black” and more! Give a gift that you know HR will give you a look of disapproval, but ultimately not get you fired.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensive Crayons","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":36170282107034,"sku":"COF105","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2108\/0013\/products\/OC-offensive-ish_packaging-frontcopy.jpg?v=1771789774"},{"product_id":"holiday-edition-offensive-crayons","title":"Holiday Edition","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eReflect on the misery that the holiday season brings your life with colors that perfectly compliment it.In the spirit of capitalism, celebrate the season with colors that accurately reflect the awkwardness of the holiday season. 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Gone are the safe colors like “goldenrod” or “violet.” Now we have “Suspicious Cold Sore Red” and “Privilege” (exclusively for our Caucasian buyers, of course). Say goodbye to your politically correct old color box and welcome this family of blunt, direct and irreverent shades.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e24 Assorted Color(s), or at least 22-23 different, since we used the cheapest labor we could find\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNon toxic, gluten free (probably), vegan (we think), we might as well call them “organic”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCarefully constructed by, more than likely, a small, underpaid child in China\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOUR MONEY BACK GUARANTEE (that they’re actually crayons – no promises for anything else)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSafe for ages 17+ (or whatever, we don’t care)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Offensive Crayons","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42798058569882,"sku":"OC101","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2108\/0013\/products\/1_5a43eef4-7a73-4087-9e4a-e5d6c537bccc.jpg?v=1771788737"},{"product_id":"offensive-crayons-porn-pack","title":"Offensive Crayons: Porn Pack","description":"\u003cp\u003eAdd a twist of humor to your coloring experience with our \u003cstrong\u003ePorn Pack Crayons\u003c\/strong\u003e. This set features bold and quirky crayon colors that stand out in any collection. Perfect for adult artists who appreciate playful, edgy designs, the crayons offer a mix of fun and irony.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEach crayon in the pack has a unique name, bringing light-hearted humor to your creative projects. Whether you're sketching or simply adding some color to a casual doodle, these crayons bring joy and laughter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis bulk crayon set makes an excellent gift for adults who enjoy novelty items or want to add some fun to their arts and crafts supplies. Get your hands on this colorful crayon box for an unforgettable experience.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Offensive Crayons","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43859086442650,"sku":"COF103","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/2108\/0013\/files\/OC-PORN_PACK-packaging-copy_2400x_caf2c15f-4fce-4bf2-8745-0c3f51e84c8e.jpg?v=1771788163"},{"product_id":"offensive-crayons-6-editions","title":"ALL 6 Editions: Offensive Crayons","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIncludes: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOriginal Offensive Crayons\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRed, White, and Fuck You Edition\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHoliday Edition\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePorn Pack\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOffensive-ISH Edition\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePot Pack\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTired of pretending to laugh at your office Secret Santa's 'funny gifts'? 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